That Year of ’82

It was a year of great events
That year of ’82
And some of them in merry rime
I’m prone here to review.

My pupils in the years agone
I’m sure that they all knew
No date occurred as often
As that of ’82.

The Edison lamps first lit New York
I can’t recall, can you?
They’d give to me a knowing smile
And say, “In ’82”.

Look at Grand Forks for instance
It grew and grew and grew
Till it became a city
In the year of ’82.

The immigrants swarmed to our shore
Across the oceans blue
But the year that topped all other years
Was the year named ’82.

Now Jesse James long had his way
To catch him no one knew
Until a year caught up with him
A year named ’82.

“America” a song we love—
(We’ll stick to it like glue)
The first time it was ever sung—
The 4th of ’82.

Barrymore is a noted man
Of wives he’d had a few—
He first saw the light of day
In 1882.

Emerson was old and tired
And thought he’d take a rest.
So as he jogged along—he thought
That ’82 was best.

Queen Victoria had five sons
Now that seems quite a crew;
One took a princess for a wife
In 1882.

The children’s poet passed away
And Lincoln’s Mary too
So some were sad while some were glad
Back there in ’82.

Now take the President’s Birthday Balls;
They’re very nice, it’s true
But then he adds another year
To that of ’82.

His Mother’s name is Sarah
And mine is Sarah too
And I like Roosevelt count my years
’Way back from ’82.

The ointment must contain a fly
For what can stand in lieu
Of a single year that’s come & gone
Since 1882?

But if upon the decades past
We feel inclined to stew
Then what about our mothers
Who’ve both turned 82.

So. often have I pondered
Could one but swap a few
Of the revolutions of the earth
‘Tween now and ’82.

Or if a Serum could be found
A Serum that would do
To make a person young who dates
From 1882!